Wow. How long has it been since I have been on here to write? A couple weeks? More? I am not sure.
I have thought about it a couple times, but it never went beyond that. I haven't been spending nearly as much time on the computer as I had been in my "Facebooking" days; with each day that goes by, I find myself with less and less desire to sit in front of the empty glow of the computer screen. The time has been filled, instead, with being more active, spending more time with my husband and son, spending more time with God and, even sitting quietly with nothing but my thoughts to distract me from the silence.
I didn't realize how deeply the Internet had me sucked in; taking a break from Facebook was just the catalyst to reveal that truth.
I was living a pseudo-life through the Internet, forgetting life was speeding by me all the while.
I am not guaranteed tomorrow. I don't want to waste today on the computer.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
lunchtime ramblings...
I am sitting at a Pizza Hut in a town I do some of my marketing. I only come to this town once a month or so, as it is one of the furthest corners of my territory and I spend a day driving to make just a few calls. I always enjoy coming to places where I don't know people, it makes for interesting people watching.
Confession time.
I often times fall victim to the sinfulness of vain thoughts. Too frequently, I get caught up in what my eyes reveal to me; more often than not it is negative observations. For example, just now, I glanced at a couple who walked in the door and was instantly drawn to the excessive amount of hair on the gentleman's shoulders. I am the person who notices body weight, acne, bad hair days and poor clothing choices. I am not proud of this trait. Many times throughout my life I have been taught that a person's beauty is not seen through the eyes, but I never have been able to successfully look at someone without seeing the imperfections of their physical beauty. This is something God has been working on me with lately.
As I was looking at this gentleman and his shoulder-hair, I was convicted. It was pressed very strongly in my heart that God designed that man and his hairy shoulders with as much care and precision as he designed me and my freckles and curly hair. All of creation has been designed by the meticulous hand of God, who am I to question the beauty of something just because my feeble mind cannot fully comprehend God in all His glory? Who am I to deem God's creation unattractive just because I do not find it aesthetically appealing? Some people find freckles and curly hair unattractive, does this mean I am not beautifully made by the hand of God? No.
I suppose all these years I have been wrong. I knew it wasn't about looking at the exterior (even though I still did,) but thought it was about looking at what was on the "inside." That was also the wrong view. My eyes should have been focused on God; when I look at the world and the people of it through the lenses of His love and mercy, I can clearly see the beauty in all the works of His hand.
Confession time.
I often times fall victim to the sinfulness of vain thoughts. Too frequently, I get caught up in what my eyes reveal to me; more often than not it is negative observations. For example, just now, I glanced at a couple who walked in the door and was instantly drawn to the excessive amount of hair on the gentleman's shoulders. I am the person who notices body weight, acne, bad hair days and poor clothing choices. I am not proud of this trait. Many times throughout my life I have been taught that a person's beauty is not seen through the eyes, but I never have been able to successfully look at someone without seeing the imperfections of their physical beauty. This is something God has been working on me with lately.
As I was looking at this gentleman and his shoulder-hair, I was convicted. It was pressed very strongly in my heart that God designed that man and his hairy shoulders with as much care and precision as he designed me and my freckles and curly hair. All of creation has been designed by the meticulous hand of God, who am I to question the beauty of something just because my feeble mind cannot fully comprehend God in all His glory? Who am I to deem God's creation unattractive just because I do not find it aesthetically appealing? Some people find freckles and curly hair unattractive, does this mean I am not beautifully made by the hand of God? No.
I suppose all these years I have been wrong. I knew it wasn't about looking at the exterior (even though I still did,) but thought it was about looking at what was on the "inside." That was also the wrong view. My eyes should have been focused on God; when I look at the world and the people of it through the lenses of His love and mercy, I can clearly see the beauty in all the works of His hand.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
an update of sorts...
Wow. I knew I hadn't written anything on here in a while, but I just checked my last post: February 1! I haven't written the entire month of February. I have wanted to a few times, but this month has just been a little crazy. A few things worth noting:
1. Last week, I had a blow-out on Tuesday. Then, the spare we put on to get us through until Friday decided to throw it's tread and go flat as I was pulling into the drive a day later. =( I got to spend the remainder of my week using my hubby's work van to do my marketing in... Fun stuff. =)
2. I have given up facebook for an undetermined length of time. It was just becoming too much for me and I realized it was stealing from my family and my relationship with God. That was an unacceptable situation, so I cut myself off last Wednesday. It has been difficult and I am realizing just how much time I have spent on facebook. More than I am proud to admit. I intend to go back on, eventually (it keeps me in touch with so many of my family members,) but my time will be very restricted when I do.
3. My husband and I celebrated our 9th Valentines' Day together. I made him his favorite dinner, we shared a wonderful bottle of wine and spent the evening playing chess. Yep, my husband and I play chess; it's one of the reasons I married the guy.
4. My son's language devolpement has taken off. Every day he is saying something new. Communication with him just keeps getting easier and easier. He is still learning sign language to help supplement the verbal and it is just amazing how well he can communicate with us compared to 7 months ago, before we had his tongue fixed. He has also taken off in learning other things (which he never had a delay on...) He can identify, by pointing and naming, the colors Red, Green, Blue, Yellow, Orange, Brown, Black and Purple. He can repeat to us all of his letters when we go through the alphabet, can identify by pointing and naming all of his letters and he can identify numbers 1-20. He has shown an interest in learning Chess and can identify by pointing and naming all the pieces; he even has taken to "playing" Chess and will get the board set up by himself (not all the pieces in the right order, but a good try.) He is very creative as well as athletic. He loves playing baseball and has shown a natural ability in the skills necessary for the sport (a huge joy to his father and I who adore the game.) He regularly takes batting practice off his tee or just in the hallway by throwing a ball in the air and trying to hit it before it hits the ground. (He can even hit the ball when we soft-pitch it to him.)........ oops, I didn't mean to make a huge paragraph about him... just wanted to mention his language developement. I just got so excited about everything else going on with him. The kid regularly blows us away.
5. My husband has a motorcycle for the first time in ten years. He has wanted one the entire time we have been together, but we haven't been able to make that expenditure until now. The thing that finally helped us make our decision that the time was right is the gas prices. We did the math and realized that the money we would spend on a used bike will be what we save in gas in 6 months! Wow. That's a lot of $$ we will not be giving to the oil companies, but be able to use elsewhere in our budget.
6. Had my yearly eval with work. Not a single negative comment on the entire thing. (Yay, me!)
7. We have a new nephew. Born 02.10.2012. I should be meeting him in a month or so and this makes me very excited. I currently have 11 neices and nephews, all but three of them are under the age of 4! It makes family gatherings so much fun. I love my neices and nephews.
There is plenty of other stuff that has happened this month, but those are the big highlights...
1. Last week, I had a blow-out on Tuesday. Then, the spare we put on to get us through until Friday decided to throw it's tread and go flat as I was pulling into the drive a day later. =( I got to spend the remainder of my week using my hubby's work van to do my marketing in... Fun stuff. =)
2. I have given up facebook for an undetermined length of time. It was just becoming too much for me and I realized it was stealing from my family and my relationship with God. That was an unacceptable situation, so I cut myself off last Wednesday. It has been difficult and I am realizing just how much time I have spent on facebook. More than I am proud to admit. I intend to go back on, eventually (it keeps me in touch with so many of my family members,) but my time will be very restricted when I do.
3. My husband and I celebrated our 9th Valentines' Day together. I made him his favorite dinner, we shared a wonderful bottle of wine and spent the evening playing chess. Yep, my husband and I play chess; it's one of the reasons I married the guy.
4. My son's language devolpement has taken off. Every day he is saying something new. Communication with him just keeps getting easier and easier. He is still learning sign language to help supplement the verbal and it is just amazing how well he can communicate with us compared to 7 months ago, before we had his tongue fixed. He has also taken off in learning other things (which he never had a delay on...) He can identify, by pointing and naming, the colors Red, Green, Blue, Yellow, Orange, Brown, Black and Purple. He can repeat to us all of his letters when we go through the alphabet, can identify by pointing and naming all of his letters and he can identify numbers 1-20. He has shown an interest in learning Chess and can identify by pointing and naming all the pieces; he even has taken to "playing" Chess and will get the board set up by himself (not all the pieces in the right order, but a good try.) He is very creative as well as athletic. He loves playing baseball and has shown a natural ability in the skills necessary for the sport (a huge joy to his father and I who adore the game.) He regularly takes batting practice off his tee or just in the hallway by throwing a ball in the air and trying to hit it before it hits the ground. (He can even hit the ball when we soft-pitch it to him.)........ oops, I didn't mean to make a huge paragraph about him... just wanted to mention his language developement. I just got so excited about everything else going on with him. The kid regularly blows us away.
5. My husband has a motorcycle for the first time in ten years. He has wanted one the entire time we have been together, but we haven't been able to make that expenditure until now. The thing that finally helped us make our decision that the time was right is the gas prices. We did the math and realized that the money we would spend on a used bike will be what we save in gas in 6 months! Wow. That's a lot of $$ we will not be giving to the oil companies, but be able to use elsewhere in our budget.
6. Had my yearly eval with work. Not a single negative comment on the entire thing. (Yay, me!)
7. We have a new nephew. Born 02.10.2012. I should be meeting him in a month or so and this makes me very excited. I currently have 11 neices and nephews, all but three of them are under the age of 4! It makes family gatherings so much fun. I love my neices and nephews.
There is plenty of other stuff that has happened this month, but those are the big highlights...
Monday, January 23, 2012
a Love that humbles
Earlier I was thinking on love and the effect of its power. Now, I am not talking about the "happily-never-after" fairy-tale junk I used to fill my head and heart with as a little girl, but real, honest love; the kind of love that is written about in 1 Corinthians 13. This love is incredibly powerful.
Today, I was thinking about how a genuine love can be so humbling. When people are filled with a genuine love for other people, they are able to lower themselves. Until today, I believed that when you genuinely loved someone, it gave you the strength to humble yourself to that person. Today, I realized it doesn't give you the strength to do it, it takes away the option to not.
This Love of which I speak does not give strength, it takes away selfishness and pride. The further in Love one is, the more impossible it is to refuse humility. This is the Love that enables a mother to spend her days changing diapers and washing dishes with a song in her heart. This is the Love that enables a husband to see beauty in his wife when her hair has fallen out from chemo. This is the Love that enabled a God-man to crawl upon the cross and give His life for a diseased race of sinners, that we may know Him and His Love personally.
This is a Love that humbles.
For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Today, I was thinking about how a genuine love can be so humbling. When people are filled with a genuine love for other people, they are able to lower themselves. Until today, I believed that when you genuinely loved someone, it gave you the strength to humble yourself to that person. Today, I realized it doesn't give you the strength to do it, it takes away the option to not.
This Love of which I speak does not give strength, it takes away selfishness and pride. The further in Love one is, the more impossible it is to refuse humility. This is the Love that enables a mother to spend her days changing diapers and washing dishes with a song in her heart. This is the Love that enables a husband to see beauty in his wife when her hair has fallen out from chemo. This is the Love that enabled a God-man to crawl upon the cross and give His life for a diseased race of sinners, that we may know Him and His Love personally.
This is a Love that humbles.
For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I sit here staring at a blank screen. Desiring to write something, but lacking the energy and creative thought process necessary to produce something from the many contemplations that have been swirling through my head this week. My son has been under the weather and our lives have been affected accordingly: tantrums, screwy sleep schedules, clingy toddler wiping tears and snot into my hair multiple times a day... It has been an tiring week and my mental capacity is shot.
Maybe tomorrow my brain will catch up.
Maybe tomorrow my brain will catch up.
Monday, January 16, 2012
a perfect view
I love watching the sun set. It is always so beautiful. Sometimes, it is a simple beauty with subtle purples and blues slowly fading into each other. Others, it is a dramatic beauty, with bold reds and pinks crashing off perfectly scattered clouds. It is never disappointing. I can remember many times throughout my life wishing I had somewhere to watch the sun set.
My home sits slightly elevated, on a small hill. My kitchen window looks directly upon the western horizon. Every evening, I have a perfect location to watch the sun set: standing before my kitchen sink. As I stand with scrub brush in hand, scouring away the evidence of our full bellies, I am able to look upon God's creative glory with awe.
My home is humble, but I have a perfect view.
My home sits slightly elevated, on a small hill. My kitchen window looks directly upon the western horizon. Every evening, I have a perfect location to watch the sun set: standing before my kitchen sink. As I stand with scrub brush in hand, scouring away the evidence of our full bellies, I am able to look upon God's creative glory with awe.
My home is humble, but I have a perfect view.
Friday, January 13, 2012
planting trees
My husband and I planted a tree together when I got home from work today.
(Just wanted to record that.)
The following song was in my head during that time:
"Planting Trees" by Andrew Peterson
We chose the spot, we dug the hole
We laid the maples in the ground to have and hold
As Autumn falls to Winters sleep
We pray that somehow in the Spring
The roots grow deep
And many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
He took a plane to Africa
He gathered up into his arms
An orphan son
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
This tree will spread its branches out
And bless the dawn
So sit down and write that letter
Sign up and join the fight
Sink in to all that matters
Step out into the light
Let go of all that's passing
Lift up the least of these
Lean into something lasting
Planting trees
She rises up as morning breaks
She moves among these rooms alone
Before we wake
And her heart is so full; it overflows
She waters us with love and the children grow
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless someone
(Just wanted to record that.)
The following song was in my head during that time:
"Planting Trees" by Andrew Peterson
We chose the spot, we dug the hole
We laid the maples in the ground to have and hold
As Autumn falls to Winters sleep
We pray that somehow in the Spring
The roots grow deep
And many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
He took a plane to Africa
He gathered up into his arms
An orphan son
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
This tree will spread its branches out
And bless the dawn
So sit down and write that letter
Sign up and join the fight
Sink in to all that matters
Step out into the light
Let go of all that's passing
Lift up the least of these
Lean into something lasting
Planting trees
She rises up as morning breaks
She moves among these rooms alone
Before we wake
And her heart is so full; it overflows
She waters us with love and the children grow
So many years from now
Long after we are gone
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless the dawn
These trees will spread their branches out
And bless someone
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