Back again. Staring at this empty screen trying to figure out how to reconcile my head with my heart and use it to create a coherent sentence. Fighting off the desire to excuse yet another lengthy absence. Wondering if anyone will even read what I have taken the time to force upon the keyboard.
I hate when I don't write on a regular basis. The more time that passes, the more pressure I feel to write something amazing. WARNING: If you are looking for amazing, you will be disappointed.
I, however, am amazed at how my brain seems to quiet itself only upon preparing to write an entry. Thousands of thoughts flitter through my head on a daily basis, jumping from topic to topic, but I get on here and I have nothing.
Well, nothing is not entirely true. There are still many thoughts, but the ability to share them seems beyond me at this moment. There are so many things on my heart, but I am unsure of how to share them without leaving myself too vulnerable. I do not enjoy feeling vulnerable. It scares me. If I think about it too much, my heart begins to race and my palms get all sweaty. I would rather give an impromptu speech to a stadium full of people than feel vulnerable.
Want to hear something ironic? I just deleted everything I had typed after that last sentence because it began to segue into something that made me feel too vulnerable.
Ha! I am ridiculous...
I guess I could talk about the weather. Hot. Or baseball. Awesome. But they will cover all that in weather and sports on the 10:00 news (happening now in the Central timezone) so I suppose I will leave it to the professionals and put an end to my ramblings...