Sunday, April 22, 2012

an explanation of sorts...

Been away for awhile again. There is a good reason for my absence, though it may only make sense to me.

My life is full of "fluff." My profession requires me to daily engage in superficial pleasantries and less-than-deep conversations. I have a toddler that goes 90mph from the time his feet hit the floor until bedtime. Many days, I wonder if diapers, dishes, laundry and taking care of the animals are the only hobbies I have. It is very easy for me to get lost in a routine that requires no deep thought.

This blog gives me an outlet for that. I have tried to post the "fluff" blogs and it just leaves me feeling empty. (Disclaimer: I don't think there is anything wrong with the "fluff" blogs. I just have enough fluff in my life, I don't need another spot to fill with it.)

When I come here, I desire to expose a deeper part of my heart.

The last few months, I have been processing a lot of deep thoughts. My heart and mind have been stretched and tried. Many times, I wanted to share, but I just couldn't find the words. I knew I would be left feeling empty if I posted something that wasn't on my heart, so I stayed silent.

Last week, I was listening to a sermon and heard the preacher say, "Sometimes, we need to be silent to be able to learn what we are being taught."  I feel that best explains my silence.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

(Friday evening, I went to a retreat with the women of my church. Psalm 46:10 was our verse for the weekend.)

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